So, my time today has been wasting time trying not to do school work. While I was looking on the internet I came across my sisters blogger, and decieded to find out if my own page still exsited. Too my surprise I found this page to still be on the internet. maybe I will learn to start to use this again...we will see.

Two months have past, and my feelings stay the same. Upset, depressed, confuessed, all at the same time. I will admint when I am with friends I do not feel this way, but when I am by myself, he is the only thing which is on my mind. It makes me frusterated that I can't get over him, but then at the same time, my stupid heart is saying no, don't give up on him, just wait it out and something good will come of all this. I hate being the ex which won't get over the relationship. I don't want to be like Wayne's ex girlfriend off of Wayne's World, but keeping all of my feelings inside and not expressing then to anyone just doesn't seem to be working. I feel like I am too young to say that I am in love. That word is just so strong and powerful, I don't want to be misusing it, but it doesn't seem to be misused, when I express my feelings towards him. I just wish that guys would have the cominent to a relationship as I do. I really don't want to genarlize the hole entire male race by saying that for my next two years of my life I shouldn't spend time on boys, because they will never commit to me. That I should want for the two years until I go to university. The only reason why I think that is because I want to wait for him, and save myself for him, but that is wrong. The changes of him liking me are probably farely slim. I need guidness, or something, but the only thing I truly want is him back. Is that wrong of me. I just don't know. The thing which really hurts is that I know that he has moved on. I know who he likes now, and it just kill me to think that he is able to like another girl. I feel that I have done something wrong to have him break up with me. I just can't see how he would just break up with me, when I still like him. I my mind I think "what did I do wrong" "what can I do to get him back" but then I remember that I can't do anything about it. What is done is done. erg. I hate that saying, it is so permant. So I will still carry on life as I always do...I just don't know what to do anymore.

So many people mistake me for my sister. The thing is, we really don't look alike, well see has red hair and i have light brown. There are some other differences too, but I don't know if I like the fact or if I don't. I love my sister and all, and I will admint that I do look up to her, but I just really like being my own person. Anna is a funny girl, so therefore I should be happy that people thing we are alike. Meh, sisters...

First day of my first "real" job today. Well it really isn't that bad. I just wish people I knew wouldn't come to my work. I feel like such a little geek wearing the uniform. For your information, I work at Tim Horton's in my home town of Forest. Meh, it is a job right and I do need money to go to university, since I am not allowed to go until I have enough money to pay for first year. The only thing which bothers me about the work, is the older women who I work with seem to always try to take my tips and such, but I just have to remember that I hopefully won't be their when I am of that age...right?

Have you even woke up on day and found out that a someone you have gone to school for three years and you have never talked to them in you life is completely in love with you. Weird. They don't know anything about you, but they seem to thing that they are in love with who ever you are. Crazy and scary. Also not the greatest, but what can you do.

So, I have offically decieded that boys never grow up as long as they will live. Today my brother, my dad and myself where swiming in my pool when my brother and my dad started to have a noodle fight. Thoes noodles hurt some much when you are hit but one. I think that I got burn from one..erg. So anyways, my dad was going hard core in this fight, and my brother was losing pretty bad so i decieded to go and help him fight. My brother and I were trying our best to just move our dad. It took about ten minutes before we really even got anywhere. Once my brother and I started to win, my dad backed out because we "hurt" his shoulder. Whatever....we all know that it was because he couldn't take losing noodle fight to his two youngest children. All I have to say is child.

Have you ever heard the saying "It is better to love and loss, then to never love at all." Why do I feel like this is the worest standment ever. To love is a great thing, but to love for such a short while and have such a great loss, is unbelieveable pain. When the last thing of your love you remember is your loss, how can it possibly be better to love and loss. I just don't understand how people come up with these things.